Mothers Day 2016

This Mothers Day is especially hard for me.  Even though I am so thankful to be a mother to one amazing little girl, and another baby on the way I am still finding this day to be very hard.  My mom passed away in October 2015 after fighting heart failure for two years.  Even though it was a long time coming, it was still very hard to see her go.  I remember that day just like it was yesterday, although it was just over six months ago.  My mom was medically being kept alive, the machines and meds that the doctors had her on were literally keeping her heart pumping.  She needed a heart transplant, but before they were even able to get her on the list (they tried numerous other things first), she was too sick to number 1, wait for a heart, and number 2, she would never make it through the surgery.  For the last few days we'd been hearing the same thing, there is nothing more they could do, but that morning they basically said she would never come off of the machines, and she would die up there in ICU.  She was forced to make her own decision.  Stay on medical life support for god knows how long, or turn all the meds off, go off of oxygen and go to sleep peacefully.  I'll never forget that day, my mom chose to die.  She said that she was tired, and she was ready to go.  The doctors said it was a extra emotional case, because most people who were on life support are usually unconscious, and it is their families deciding to withdrawal care, not themselves.

As soon as she made the decision, the paperwork was filed and the process was started.  With family surrounding my mom, the doctors turned off the meds, gave her something to calm her down, and eventually she fell asleep.  After she was comfortable, we removed the oxygen.  She slowly drifted away.  The whole process took approximately 5 hours.  The longest / most difficult 5 hours of my life.  Being able to sit with her, hold her hand, listen to her stories, record a goodbye video for my daughter, laugh with her, cry with her telling us to stop, sit quietly, and just be there, is bittersweet.  I'm not sure what is worse, watching someone slowly decline over a few years, and then sitting with them while they actually go, or being in an accident and them just being gone instantly. I've never dealt with the latter.

My father in law actually passed away nine days prior to my mom, and unfortunately I did not attend his funeral, as I knew it would be one less day that I would get with my mom.  I basically didn't leave the hospital that last week, and I wouldn't change it for a thing.  Those last moments with her I will always cherish.  I'm sure every holiday, birthday, mothers day, etc., will get easier with time, but so far they've all been firsts, and they suck.  As I look forward to the birth of our next child, I'm already upset knowing that she won't be there, as she was in the delivery room for our daughter, and was definitely supportive through my labour.

To my mom, to all moms out there, thank you for being there for us, no matter how horrible we were to you at times, no matter how many bad choices we made (and I've made a ton!), no matter how many times we didn't listen, thank you, thank you, thank you!  Mom, I love you and miss you!! xoxo

 Mom and I, after they'd turned off the meds

Mom, at our wedding in 2011

I'm back and baby 2.0 is on the way!

Hello, hi, how have you been?  I've been gone for a while now, with really no excuse other than I've been busy.  My daughter is now 6, what 6!?  How did that happen!??  So, time has flown by, and I remember I wanted to blog again a few years ago, and I'll be honest...I just didn't feel like it.  I didn't feel like I had the energy.  Between work, school, gymnastics, art classes, swimming, girl guides and the list goes on - I'm too tired.  I didn't want to sit at a computer any longer than I already do in a day. 

Well, once again I will try to start blogging again!  I actually had a book printed out from this blog, of our daughters first year and I'm so glad I did.  Now that I'm expecting our second child (a Christmas baby), I'd really love to keep track of my pregnancy and other things along the way, and I'd love to print off a book eventually for Baby 2.0.  I have my first pre-natal appointment in two days, wish me luck!

It's been a while....

So here I am sitting on my couch at 10pm, Mother's Day 2013 reflecting on what a great day I've had. I woke up to Clint and Makayla trying to sneak out the door to get me breakfast :) They came back with coffee, a bagel, a card and a Pandora charm for my bracelet, and of course hugs, kisses and a big "I love you so much". It's little things like this that remind me, I am loved! Our day was spent swimming at our favorite pool, a visit and dinner with Grandma L., and we even took her to the showhome of the house we are building. Yes that's right, we are building a house! After almost 7 years in our condo it's time to move! We are very excited and can't wait until they break ground. Soon we will have our decor meeting where we will pick all interior things, paint, hardwood, tile, carpet, cupboards, granite, fixtures, etc. It will be a fun (and I'm sure stressful) time! Wow, where has the time gone? Clint and I got married, Makayla turned 2, then 3...and I haven't posted at all. It actually makes me kind of sad. I was really good at posting when she was a "baby", and I actually got this blog printed into a book so she'll have it when she is older. I had so much "time" that first year, when I was on mat leave. Now I am back working (have been for 2.5 years) I just haven't posted, we are always so "busy" and I kind of pushed this to the back burner. Well, I hope to start again!! Today, Makayla said something that made me realize just how quickly she is growing up (although she has taken gymnastics and is in a pre-k class in the evenings) this one little comment just switched something in my mind. Almost a year ago, the morning of July 14, 2012 we were getting ready to go celebrate my 30th birthday when we received a phone call, my grandmother had passed away. Today, Makayla said to me, totally out of the blue while we were sitting at the table, "Mom, why were you sad and crying when you wore that blue polkadot dress?". It took me about 10 seconds to realize what she was referring to, but when I did I was amazed. The last time I wore that dress was that day, and it was almost a year ago, and she was only 2! I almost cried when I figured out what she was asking me, but instead I just explained to her that I was sad that day because my Grandma was very old and that she died that morning. She seemed to understand, "oh", and moved on to the next subject; taking her turn as we were playing candy land. What a big and precious girl my monkey is growing into. Miss you Grandma! So, what else is new? We've been staying busy, learning colors, shapes, letters, singing songs, dancing, dressing up in princess outfits, swimming, last summer we went camping once, and spent a week at FHSR, this past Christmas Makayla really understood that Santa was coming, and all she asked for was glue (for crafts) and a Cinderella toothbrush holder and cup, and my oh my was she excited to find those things under the tree!! We actually captured it on video, and wow it made my whole holiday season! For new years we went to FHSR, where Makayla went skating for the first time. This upcoming summer we've booked two camping trips and I am contemplating booking at FHSR again. Last weekend we checked out the dinosaur park. Makayla was convinced that the dinosaurs were real and was a little nervous at first; we went with Grandma V. and that was fun. Well, I hope to keep posting as I'd love to be able to print another book one day, I guess all we've got left when it's all said and done is the memories, written words and pictures, and boy do I wish I had more of those some days :)

HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY....and everything else!

Honestly, where on earth has the time gone! I haven't posted since the end of October; lots has happened since! I actually feel kind of bad as I had planned to update this blog on a regular basis then eventually get it printed out in a book and give it to Makayla when she is older, and now I haven't done anything in months. Well let me try to give an update. Firstly, HAPPY (belated) 1ST BIRTHDAY MAKAYLA! You have no idea how fast this past year has flown by. I can't believe my "baby" is already one. We had planned a wonderful birthday party with approximately 40 of our family and closest friends and had a great turn out. We started off with an afternoon of swimming then moved into a party room with snacks, drinks, presents, cake and even a surprise proposal!

That's right, a complete surprise. Clint had secretly designed a custom engagement ring and he had even taken Makayla with him to Independent Jewellers one day when he told me that they were going to meet some friends for breakfast. We had previously decided on the day we wanted to get married and I had no idea that we would actually become engaged because that wasn't really important to me, but Clint really wanted to do something special; so he did...in front of all of our family and friends! If you know me you know that I don't like attention or people looking at me, so it was horrible but amazing at the same time. Since Clint had told a few people his plan, it was all caught on video so we will have that moment to cherish forever.

Now, back to the birthday girl! Makayla absolutely loved her party (or so I think), this girl is a water baby so I just knew that swimming was perfect for her first party! She quite enjoyed opening her gifts, and boy was she spoiled, which we are so thankful for. I had ordered a Tinkerbell cupcake cake, and she devoured her entire cupcake and we've got pictures to prove it. All in all it was a wonderful day that I will always remember!


Since it is now a few months past Makayla's birthday, she is 14 months and quite the amazing little girl. Not only is she changing physically, longer hair, getting taller, almost a full mouth of teeth, she uses a sippy cup, she's starting to walk, but she is also learning so much too! She knows some of her body parts and it's adorable! Nose, eye, head, hairdo, tummy, belly button (ba babababa bababa) as she says! She also knows where my belly button is and she's always trying to lift up my shirt to expose it, too cute!

Lots of other things have happened; I am now back at work full time (went back November 15th), Makayla attends a dayhome and Clint is still working up north. For me work is work, I like it but I'd rather be at home with my baby, unfortunately that just doesn't work for us financially. Makayla is now onto her second dayhome, she only lasted a month at the first one. LOTS of reasons made us leave, to sum it up we pulled her out because we just didn't feel comfortable with her being there, the lady changed our contract a month in and it boiled down to "I'm going with my gut"! I feel awesome about the one she is going to now, it seems like everyday she comes home with something new. Last week she came home doing sign language for "more", which is great because now she tells me if she is still hungry! Makayla has been sick for a couple of weeks with a cold, yesterday she came home and covered her mouth when she coughed. Each day she is getting better on her feet; tonight she is going all over the place!

Christmas was excellent, we got to spend lots of time with family and had some great meals. Makayla really enjoyed her second Christmas, she was really into opening her gifts....or maybe just playing with the paper. I'm amazed at how much she plays with her toys, she is really independent, wait I take that back, she's independent when she wants to be, hehehehe..... We took Makayala to Candy Cane Lane on December 28, 2010 (a memory from when I was a child) - she slept, we enjoyed it!



As for our wedding, I'm getting excited. Our ceremony and reception are booked and I couldn't be happier with our choices. Caesars Palace Juno Gardens for the ceremony and Maggiano's Little Italy for the reception. Our Save the Date magnets, invitations and some other items arrived on January 5, 2011! I am going to Bridal Fantasy this Sunday with my Maid of Honor, one of my Bridesmaids and my Mom, so we can get some ideas for dresses, centerpieces, and whatever else we can bring to VEGAS!!

I think that is enough of an update for tonight; I'm sure more has taken place over the last few months but that's all I can think of right now! Makayla,

Mommy loves you!!! xoxoxo

Vegas? Why Not?

Clint and I had a "plan" from the day we got together, that can be found under the tab at the top of the page "Our Life Together"; here is a portion of it:

My "hubby guy" and I met on a blind date on September 14, 2006 and basically started dating immediately and we moved in together about a month later. We both wanted children and didn't want to wait forever, having them sooner than later was our plan! A wedding will follow one day, it's not our priority in life, it's not our goal - it's the marriage that we are interested in and not the wedding itself. Don't get me wrong we still look forward to the wedding, but we feel people put to much emphasis on the party, get carried away and spend way to much money. We feel like we are married anyway, we don't necessarily need that piece of paper to make us a "proper couple".

Now that Clint has a really great job, well being away sucks but the money is nice, we can actually afford a wedding and not feel like we need to be spending that money elsewhere. We aren't really the "traditional" couple, we don't want to get married in a hall (we aren't religious so a church is out), and we don't want a hall reception...so Clint suggested Vegas! Yes, why not, that is an awesome idea...it will probably cost about half of what it would here. We aren't planning a "cheesy Vegas wedding", but it will still be fun and definitely memorable! We have been looking into a couple of different options and are hoping to book something within the next few weeks!! Exciting!!!

Online Shopping & Shopping In General!

Well, we have finally broke down and ordered some "big girl" things. This past Thursday I ordered a highchair, and yesterday I ordered a carseat. The carseat since Makayla is outgrowing her infant bucket seat, and the highchair since the bumbo and booster seat just aren't cutting it anymore! I will post some pictures when they arrive!! :)

This past weekend, Makayla, Grandma Linda and I drove to Red Deer to meet Auntie Cindy for the afternoon and to go out for supper! Makayla was very spoiled by her Auntie! Here are some pictures of what Makayla received! THANK YOU AUNTIE CINDY, WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT!

Brooklyn's Birthday Party

Well...Brooklyn's 1st birthday party was today, you know what that means...Makayla's will be here VERY shortly! Wow, where the heck has the past year gone? I remember this time last year sitting around, very large, and waiting for my little monkey to arrive!

Here are some pictures from Brooklyn's party, Makayla was right in there "helping" Nicky unwrap all the presents. She was even more interested in it than Brooklyn was :)

First Time To The Waterpark & The Dreaded Return To Work

I took Makayla to the waterpark today for the first time! She is such a water baby and we honestly haven't been swimming for a while, so I was unsure of how long she would want to spend in the pool...well she lasted two hours, the only reason we left is because she was actually shivering and her lips were blue. I figured it was time to go!! We are already planning to go again in a few weeks!! I only got one picture of us, but I thought it was a good one!




So...the return to work is soon approaching! November 15th is the day. I like my job and everything, but honestly I just do not want to leave my baby! We have found a wonderful dayhome, but it doesn't matter the thought of it still doesn't sit well with me! If only we could afford for me to stay home, or even if we had a big enough place I think that I would start a dayhome. Well I guess I need to look on the bright side of things...having a full paycheck will be nice; oh right...I have to pay for the dayhome...there goes my paycheck :(

Date Night!

Clint and I went to Jubilation's the other night on an actual date, without Makayla!!! Wow, when does that ever happen? It was nice! The show was Night at the Museum of Rock and Roll. Clint has now gone back to work and will be home two days before Makayla's first birthday!!! Where the heck does time go??

What a big girl!

Full of Surprises!

I have the best hubby guy - he told me tonight that he was going out for a car wash and he actually went out and bought me a new laptop because mine has been acting up!!!

Makayla decided to flip her carseat over and sit on it! What a funny little girl!

Thanksgiving Weekend

We had two dinners this weekend, the first was at our house. It was a combination of people making and bringing stuff but it actually turned out really good! The second was at my Dad's house.

Makayla and Uncle Michael enjoying dinner at our house

Mommy, Daddy and Makayla enjoying dinner at Grandpa Dave's

A Surprise From Daddy!

Clint was suppose to be home on Thursday, but his boss had asked him to stay a few days longer as they are very busy! He said that he would, which I didn't really mind, except for the fact that I am sick and could really use him around, not to mention that it is Thanksgiving weekend! So he was suppose to be coming home next Monday instead. Tonight, after being gone for 23 days he showed up! He told me that he got caught up and knew that I wasn't feeling well so he decided to drive home instead of waiting till Monday to fly. I love you Daddy!


A year ago today was my last day at work, check out my post from then!

11 Months!

Yesterday my "little" girl was 11 months! We spent the day with Grandma Linda, went to the clinic and had Makayla weighed, she is a whopping 15lbs, 9oz and 27in long! After that we went to The Children's Place where Grandma spoiled Makayla and bought her a few outfits! Then we went to Babies R Us and picked out the carseat that we will need to buy soon as Makayla is about to outgrow her bucket seat in length. We finished off our day going out for dinner to Joeys, it was delicious! Then Grandma spent the night, it was a good day all around!

Makayla has now starting "spitting"

Makayla and Grandma Linda in their pj's

A Potato For Me, A Potato For You

Within the last few weeks Makayla has really started to increase her intake of food, which is a good thing, maybe she will start growing. She is still on pureed baby food (she only has two teeth), but she is also eating the 12 month jars which is quite chunky and there seems to be a lot of pasta ones, which she really enjoys! About two months ago Makayla tried mashed potatoes for the first time right off of my plate including the gravy, which she loved.

Tonight Makayla and I joined my Mom at Swiss Chalet for dinner and I ordered Makayla her very own plate of mashed potatoes. It is the first time I have actually ordered my little girl something of her own off the menu, usually I will just give her some of mine. WOW she is growing up! She did really well, probably ate about half of it, along with some baby food (prunes) and a few pieces of chicken. I think she likes Swiss Chalet!

Last night we joined my Dad and Sylvia for supper. Makayla did an awesome job over there too! She ate lots of Sylvia's yummy pasta, some baby food veggies and finished off her meal by eating two whole slices of homemade canned peaches! It may not sound like a lot, but for her tiny self it really is.

We finished today off by doing a little shopping at Babies R Us. I have been letting Makayla eat off the tray of the restaurant highchair (if it has one) or off the table, and every time I just cringe thinking about all the germs! I had seen this place mat when I was pregnant and it was actually on my registry for the baby shower, but we didn't receive it, so today I went and bought it!! Now I can worry about one less thing...

Busy Day

Today we ran all over the place, to a home shopping expo where I bought some cute clips for Makayla's hair and a new toy, looked at show homes to get an idea of what I like, Starbucks for a yummy frappuccino, Babies R Us to buy a leash for Sophie haha, my Dads to borrow his printer since mine isn't working, The Children's Place to buy a gift. Wow, what a busy day!

The gate that I had bought a while ago for $129.99 just went on sale for $79.99 so I took my receipt back to Babies R Us and hoped that they would give me the difference back as it had been 37 days since I bought it, they did, apparently I had 45 days to do it! $50 back in my pocket is a good thing! I love looking at show homes, it seems like I fall in love with a new one each time we go looking, how on earth are we suppose to choose which one to build?! Speaking of a new home, we are *hoping* to be in a new home within a year, max two! I really hope we can do it!!

Makayla has really progressed on her furniture walking the last few days, now she just cruises! I also have had to remove our tray that we keep on the ottoman with coasters, tv remotes, etc. in it as she is now able to reach it all. I also had a glass of fruit punch on there two days ago which she decided to reach up and spill all over our white carpet! I guess I can't have a drink in here anymore! Hmmmmm what else? Her new favorite thing to do is to yank all the DVD's off of the shelf. She sure keeps me on my toes now!

Cleo (our cat) had enough playing with Makayla

Turning her tongue upside down

Eating cereal

Playing with her new toy from Kidsmart

Makayla's new hair clip from My Creations

Wow...Where Does Time Go?

It has been over a month since I last posted...unbelievable! So what have we been up to? Lots!! My return to work is quickly approaching, November 15th is the day! We have found a dayhome and given a deposit so that is great, one less thing to worry about! I have been trying to enjoy my last little while at home with my monkey, but it is also nice to have a few mins away. On August 30th I went out for "Girls Night" to Milestones, with some ladies from the mom's group, that was really fun!

I am still trying to get Graffiti "out there" and I have come across Vistaprint and have fallen in love! I ordered a banner, 250 business cards, 25 magnetic business cards, 100 postcards, 3 car magnets, a shirt, a calendar, a mug, a mouse pad, a pen, a stamp and 140 return address labels for $46.16 (including shipping)! The best part...it only took 5 days to get here! I've done a few parties over the last few weeks and I have done one trade show. We have launched a new website for Graffiti; check it out here.

On September 1st I took Makayla for her 10 month check up with the pediatrician, he has finally said that Makayla's size is a bit worrisome. She was weighing in at 15lbs 2oz and 26.75in. So after the appointment we proceeded to the lab to get some blood work done. When we got there the nurse said that she hates taking blood from babies, oh great! She also told me that she didn't feel comfortable taking the amount of blood that the doctor had requested since she was so small. He had requested 4 of the large viles, she said that she was only going to take 3 and hope that would be enough! My poor little monkey! Before we started I felt like the worst mother ever, having to hold her down, but you know what - she was amazing! Makayla sat on my lap and I held her one arm and her body while a nurse held her other arm and a second nurse actually took the blood. She didn't even make a peep...I was so proud and actually shocked. There I sat almost in tears and Makayla sat there just watching everything that they were doing! The good news - everything has come back NORMAL!! Woo Hoo! My little girl is just going to be small.

I made my way down to the police station a couple of weeks ago to pick up some new screws that I had seen on a news broadcast that you can screw on with a normal screwdriver but you need a special tool to get them back off. Apparently there have been 3-4 thousand licence plates stolen this year already...and mine was one of them! Lets just hope that doesn't happen again because it was a pain in my butt, and not to mention expensive!

Even with Clint working away he is still able to "talk" to Makayla and see her. I always put the phone on speaker when we talk, on the screen is a picture of him so Makayla can see him and hear him. I am always taking pictures and emailing them to him as well! Makayla is sure developing quick now. She helps with eating, she always wants to hold the spoon so I usually give her one and then I feed her with another, she loves to "play" with her food! She is crawling all over the place now and instead of having a carpenter over I was able to find a custom fit gate that works with our stairwell so I had my dad come over and install it. Just a few days ago Makayla figured out that she can pull herself up on the couch or the ottoman and she is trying to "furniture walk", but she is still too wobbly to actually move around. It is so hard to believe that it has almost been a year already!

What else has been going on? Well Clint and I just celebrated four years together! Maybe next year on our 5th anniversary it will be extra special.....!!!! Just yesterday I booked a photo session for some family pictures and some 1st birthday ones of Makayla! We have booked a family vacation and I'm pretty pumped! We will be spending a week in Orlando then driving down to Fort Lauderdale and going on a 7 night cruise - I can't wait!

Busy, Busy, Busy

I feel like I have been on the go non stop for a long time and summer is almost gone already, and yet I feel like I have done nothing!

I have been trying to get more things on the go with Graffiti. I've had a few parties, yesterday I went to a baby/kid sale that the organizer decided to have some business tables at as well. I don't really think it was the right "crowd" for my products. I guess that is the most polite way of putting it, if you know what I mean.

While I was inside the hall for the four hours doing my thing, someone stole the license plate right off my vehicle, then proceeded to use it in a gas and go! Of course it was Sunday so the registry office wasn't open so that was a pain in the ***! Thankfully someone at the craft sale had an old expired plate from one of their old vehicles; he ran home and got it so I could at least drive home and hopefully wouldn't get pulled over! Today I had to deal with that.

I have been looking at bringing Graffiti into farmers markets, trade shows and craft fairs, but it seems they are all so expensive! Come next month it looks like I will be pretty busy, I've already got three shows booked and a trade show. I am still looking for more leads though. I've created a facebook page, so it seems like that is starting to get the word out more too!

Makayla is now becoming quite the little girl. She is sure trying my patience, by pulling on cords, grabbing CD's, hitting me or spitting in my face. No matter how many times I say "NO" she laughs and does it again. She doesn't understand it isn't a game. I usually laugh right back at her; I know I shouldn't, but wow how can one resist!? She just figured out how to crawl last Thursday, right before Daddy went back to work so that's nice, so she is now into everything. I can't even go to the bathroom or load the dishwasher without wondering what she is up to. Also, I need to get a carpenter in here to figure out what we are going to do about a gate. We've got a nasty staircase with walls that just don't work for attaching a baby gate.

Anyway, I'm tired and need to get to bed, here are a few pictures of Makayla tonight.

Daddy Is Home

With Clint working away he misses a lot. I don't really think about it, cause I try not to as it's hard being the mom and dad all the time, and if I think about missing Clint or him missing us and the things that go on here it makes it even worse. So now that he is on days off it is fun to watch him doing all the little things...like feeding her, things that I don't even think about.

Time For Another One.........??????

My friend Barb came over today for a visit and brought her new baby Zachery for us to see! Makayla seemed to enjoy kneeling infront of his carseat, "talking" and rocking him back and forth. Maybe she was trying to tell Mommy something.....

What Have We Been Doing?

Wow, it has been a few weeks since I've updated! We have been staying busy; out and about in the city and Clint was home for a week too, so that was nice! It is hard to believe that the summer is already half over....that means the time for me to go back to work is soon approaching. I have been spending some more time looking for a dayhome; it doesn't seem to be proving easy so far. So what's new and what have we been doing......

Makayla has been working on her "funny faces"!



We spent some time with Nicky and Brooklyn in between their vacations (BC & Australia)!




We have spent some time at the beach!





Then Clint was home for his one week off a month, so we decided to take our first family holiday! We went to Canmore for 4 nights! It was a great trip!













The day after we got home from Canmore we went to Capital Ex, the annual exhibition here (same as what we just went to in Calgary with Auntie Cindy - Stampede). That was fun!

So, basically Makayla and I have been keeping busy, trying to pass time while Clint is away, but also trying not to let her grow too quickly! Makayla has been working on crawling, which for her really means getting up on her knees, then face planting, trying again and sliding backwards. Just within the last few days she has figured out that if she sits up and pushes with her hands she can turn around, so she has been doing lots of "circles". Also, just two days ago she figured out that if she gets up on her knees then pushes backwards she can actually sit up; she is so proud, as is Mommy!

Graffiti is still a go, I just need to get somemore parties booked; I have one for later in August and a trade show in September, also a few people who want to book for September!